SOME USEFUL RUN COMMANDS !!!
To access the "RUN command prompt" click START menu then click RUN
These are Some below
Add/Remove Programs - appwiz.cpl
Administrative Tools - control admintools Automatic Updates - wuaucpl.cpl
Bluetooth Transfer Wizard - fsquirt
Calculator - calc
Certificate Manager - certmgr.msc
Character Map - charmap Check
Disk Utility - chkdsk Clipboard
Viewer - clipbrd Command Prompt - cmd
Component Services - dcomcnfg
Computer Management - compmgmt.msc
Date and Time Properties - timedate.cpl
DDE Shares - ddeshare
Device Manager - devmgmt.msc
Direct X Control Panel (If Installed)* - directx.cpl
Direct X Troubleshooter - dxdiag Disk
Cleanup Utility - cleanmgr
Disk Defragment - dfrg.msc
Disk Management - diskmgmt.msc
Display Properties - desk.cpl
Display Properties (w/Appearance Tab Preselected) - control color
Dr. Watson System Troubleshooting Utility - drwtsn32
Driver Verifier Utility - verifier
Event Viewer - eventvwr.msc
File Signature Verification Tool - sigverif
Findfast - findfast.cpl
Folders Properties - control folders
Fonts - control fonts Fonts Folder - fonts
Free Cell Card Game - freecell Game Controllers- joy.cpl
Group Policy Editor (XP Prof) - gpedit.msc
Hearts Card Game - mshearts
Iexpress Wizard - iexpress
Indexing Service - ciadv.msc I
nternet Properties - inetcpl.cpl
IP Configuration - ipconfig /all
Java Control Panel (If Installed) - jpicpl32 Aug 31 Sourish
Keyboard Properties - control keyboard Local Security Settings - secpol.msc
Local Users and Groups - lusrmgr.msc
Logs You Out Of Windows - logoff
Microsoft Chat - winchat
Minesweeper Game - winmine
Mouse Properties - control mouse
Mouse Properties - main.cpl
Network Connections - control
netconnections Network Connections - ncpa.cpl
Network Setup Wizard - netsetup.cpl
Notepad - notepad Nview
Desktop Manager (If Installed) - nvtuicpl.cpl
Object Packager - packager
ODBC Data Source Administrator - odbccp32.cpl
On Screen Keyboard - osk Opens AC3 Filter
(If Installed) - ac3filter.cpl
Password Properties - password.cpl
Performance Monitor - perfmon.msc
Performance Monitor - perfmon Phone and Modem Options - telephon.cpl
Power Configuration - powercfg.cpl
Regional Settings - intl.cpl
Registry Editor - regedit
Registry Editor - regedit32 Remote Desktop - mstsc
Removable Storage - ntmsmgr.msc
Removable Storage Operator Requests - ntmsoprq.msc
Resultant Set of Policy (XP Prof) - rsop.msc
Scanners and Cameras - sticpl.cpl
Scheduled Tasks - control schedtasks Security Center - wscui.cpl
Services - services.msc
Shared Folders - fsmgmt.msc
Shuts Down Windows - shutdown Sounds and Audio - mmsys.cpl
Spider Solitare Card Game - spider SQL Client Configuration - cliconfg
System Configuration Editor - sysedit
System Configuration Utility - msconfig
System Properties - sysdm.cpl
Task Manager - taskmgr
Telnet Client - telnet
User Account Management - nusrmgr.cpl
Utility Manager - utilman
Windows Firewall - firewall.cpl
Windows Magnifier - magnify
Windows Management Infrastructure - wmimgmt.msc
Windows System Security Tool - syskey
Windows Update Launches - wupdmgr
Windows XP Tour Wizard - tourstart
Wordpad - write
Read more...
PETAI
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ADVICE FROM UKM MEDICAL DOCTOR
Little did you know ...... after reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at petai in the same way again!
Petai contains three natural sugars -sucrose, fructose and glucose.
Combined with fiber, petai gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proved that just two
servings of petai provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder petai is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way petai can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily
diet.
PMS(premenstrual syndrome):
Forget the pills - eat petai. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anaemia:
High in iron, petai can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anaemia.
Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making ! it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the petai industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power :
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating petai at breakfast, break, and
lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more
alert.
Constipation:
High in fiber, including petai in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to
laxatives.
Hangovers:
&nb! sp; One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a petai milkshake, sweetened with honey. The petai calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn:
Petai has a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating petai for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness:
Snacking on petai between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of the petai skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and i rritation.
Nerves:
Petai is high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight:
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps.
Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded
that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every
two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers:
Petai is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw
fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases.. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control :
Many other cultures see petai as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers.
In Holland, for example, pregnant women eat petai to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) :
Petai can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, tryptophan.
Smoking:
Petai can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them,
help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance.
When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium petai snack.
Strokes:
According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, "eating petai as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%".
Warts:
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill! off a wart, take a piece of petai and place it on the wart. Carefully hold the petai in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, as you can see, petai really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five
times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value
foods around..
So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A Petai a day keeps the doctor away".
PM Dr.Aminuddin AHK Dept.of Physiology
Medical faculty of UKM Kuala Lumpur
Tel:6(03)40405157
Fax:6(03)26939687
Read more...
Little did you know ...... after reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at petai in the same way again!
Petai contains three natural sugars -sucrose, fructose and glucose.
Combined with fiber, petai gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proved that just two
servings of petai provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder petai is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way petai can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily
diet.
PMS(premenstrual syndrome):
Forget the pills - eat petai. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anaemia:
High in iron, petai can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anaemia.
Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making ! it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the petai industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power :
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating petai at breakfast, break, and
lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more
alert.
Constipation:
High in fiber, including petai in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to
laxatives.
Hangovers:
&nb! sp; One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a petai milkshake, sweetened with honey. The petai calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn:
Petai has a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating petai for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness:
Snacking on petai between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of the petai skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and i rritation.
Nerves:
Petai is high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight:
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps.
Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded
that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every
two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers:
Petai is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw
fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases.. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control :
Many other cultures see petai as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers.
In Holland, for example, pregnant women eat petai to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) :
Petai can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, tryptophan.
Smoking:
Petai can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them,
help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance.
When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium petai snack.
Strokes:
According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, "eating petai as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%".
Warts:
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill! off a wart, take a piece of petai and place it on the wart. Carefully hold the petai in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, as you can see, petai really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five
times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value
foods around..
So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A Petai a day keeps the doctor away".
PM Dr.Aminuddin AHK Dept.of Physiology
Medical faculty of UKM Kuala Lumpur
Tel:6(03)40405157
Fax:6(03)26939687
Read more...
Seven Things to Tell an Interviewer
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By Joe Turner, Career Coach
Many years ago when I hated what I was doing for a living, I was encouraged by my career coach to write down several short stories about times and events in my life where I influenced the outcome. I was stumped at first, but after a few days, I came up with more than 15 pages of stories of times in my life where I influenced the outcome and either grew myself and/or bettered the existence of either myself or others around me.
So what does this have to do with a job interview?
If you read other books on job interviews, you'll notice they feed you lists of interview questions and answers to memorize. An interview is not an interrogation, however it's a conversation. To make it that way you need to come armed with a multitude of small stories about both your business and personal lives.
When you go into an interview, you need to leave your nerves at the door. The best way to prepare is to be yourself. The best way to be yourself is to tell your own story (or stories).
This is especially great for the competency-based interview being used more today. In a traditional interview, the interviewer will ask you questions focused on whether you have the skills and knowledge needed to do the job. A competency-based interview goes further by asking you additional questions about your character and personal attributes that can better determine whether you fit their corporate culture. These are called "behavioral competencies."
A competency-based interviewer will spend about half the interview on your job skills, and about half on your behavioral competencies. He or she will be looking for evidence of how you have acted in real situations in the past.
An employer wants to find out:
Are you an asset or liability? In other words, will you make money or save money for the company?
Are you a team player? Will you fit into the corporate hierarchy or be like sand in the gears? Can you take and give (if appropriate) orders?
Will you fit into the company culture? They don't want prima donnas.
The best way to show these traits is to take the initiative and have several personal stories that you can tell, taking maybe 30 to 90 seconds each.
You may want to start by developing your stories around these seven areas:
1. Times where you either made money or saved money for your current or previous company.
2. A crisis in your life or job and how you responded or recovered from it.
3. A time where you functioned as part of a team and what your contribution was.
4. A time in your career or job where you had to overcome stress.
5. A time in your job where you provided successful leadership or a sense of direction.
6. A failure that occurred in your job and how you overcame it.
7. Any seminal events that happened during your career to cause you to change direction and how that worked out for you.
I want to emphasize that an interview should not be an interrogation. It should be a conversation between two equals. When you accomplish this you come away a step closer to your goal of landing the job you really want, because...
It's the conversation that wins an interview, and it's the conversation that wins the job
To have a conversation, have your stories ready.
Read more...
Many years ago when I hated what I was doing for a living, I was encouraged by my career coach to write down several short stories about times and events in my life where I influenced the outcome. I was stumped at first, but after a few days, I came up with more than 15 pages of stories of times in my life where I influenced the outcome and either grew myself and/or bettered the existence of either myself or others around me.
So what does this have to do with a job interview?
If you read other books on job interviews, you'll notice they feed you lists of interview questions and answers to memorize. An interview is not an interrogation, however it's a conversation. To make it that way you need to come armed with a multitude of small stories about both your business and personal lives.
When you go into an interview, you need to leave your nerves at the door. The best way to prepare is to be yourself. The best way to be yourself is to tell your own story (or stories).
This is especially great for the competency-based interview being used more today. In a traditional interview, the interviewer will ask you questions focused on whether you have the skills and knowledge needed to do the job. A competency-based interview goes further by asking you additional questions about your character and personal attributes that can better determine whether you fit their corporate culture. These are called "behavioral competencies."
A competency-based interviewer will spend about half the interview on your job skills, and about half on your behavioral competencies. He or she will be looking for evidence of how you have acted in real situations in the past.
An employer wants to find out:
Are you an asset or liability? In other words, will you make money or save money for the company?
Are you a team player? Will you fit into the corporate hierarchy or be like sand in the gears? Can you take and give (if appropriate) orders?
Will you fit into the company culture? They don't want prima donnas.
The best way to show these traits is to take the initiative and have several personal stories that you can tell, taking maybe 30 to 90 seconds each.
You may want to start by developing your stories around these seven areas:
1. Times where you either made money or saved money for your current or previous company.
2. A crisis in your life or job and how you responded or recovered from it.
3. A time where you functioned as part of a team and what your contribution was.
4. A time in your career or job where you had to overcome stress.
5. A time in your job where you provided successful leadership or a sense of direction.
6. A failure that occurred in your job and how you overcame it.
7. Any seminal events that happened during your career to cause you to change direction and how that worked out for you.
I want to emphasize that an interview should not be an interrogation. It should be a conversation between two equals. When you accomplish this you come away a step closer to your goal of landing the job you really want, because...
It's the conversation that wins an interview, and it's the conversation that wins the job
To have a conversation, have your stories ready.
Read more...
5 "dont's" when you are sleeping
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DONT SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of
radioactivity. Though small, but if you
wear your watch to bed for a long
time, it might have adverse effects on
your health.
DONT SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered
those that wear bras for more than 12
hours have a higher risk of getting
breast cancer. So go to bed without it.
DONT SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or
anywhere near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as
alarm clocks, but please
put the phone as far as possible.
Scientists have proved that electrical
items including mobile phone and
television sets emit magnetic waves when
used. These waves can cause
disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mobile
phone near you, switch it off first.
DONT SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might
have skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the
skin to have difficulty in breathing and
problem in perspiring You will also need
a much longer time to go into deep sleep.
DONT SLEEP WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S WIFE
You may never wake up again
Read more...
Watches can emit a certain level of
radioactivity. Though small, but if you
wear your watch to bed for a long
time, it might have adverse effects on
your health.
DONT SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered
those that wear bras for more than 12
hours have a higher risk of getting
breast cancer. So go to bed without it.
DONT SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or
anywhere near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as
alarm clocks, but please
put the phone as far as possible.
Scientists have proved that electrical
items including mobile phone and
television sets emit magnetic waves when
used. These waves can cause
disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mobile
phone near you, switch it off first.
DONT SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might
have skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the
skin to have difficulty in breathing and
problem in perspiring You will also need
a much longer time to go into deep sleep.
DONT SLEEP WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S WIFE
You may never wake up again
Read more...
Asking Salary increase???
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Jokes
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Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $hah
The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean
Read more...
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $hah
The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean
Read more...
Upgrade boyfriend 5.0 to husband 1.0 -pentium8 version.
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Tips and Tricks
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Dear IT Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the
overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply:
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.
If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.
Good Luck,
IT Support
Read more...
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the
overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply:
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.
If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.
Good Luck,
IT Support
Read more...
Naughty Answers!
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Labels:
Jokes
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comments
Naughty Answers!
Man comes home, finds
his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend
and kills him.
Wife says :
'If you behave
like this, you will lose ALL your friends'.
********************************************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, ' send me a brother'
Santa wrote back,
' SEND ME YOUR
MOTHER'
****************************************
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
***********************************
Husband asks:
'Do u know that the meaning of WIFE
is:
W ithout
I nformation
F ighting
E very-time
Wife replies :
' No,......
It means:
W ith
I diot
F or
E ver
!!!'
*****************************************
What's the difference
between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when
both are pregnant.
****************************************
Grammer Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah,
once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver run away
**********************************************************
A young boy asks his
Dad :'What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that IS confidential .'
Read more...
Man comes home, finds
his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend
and kills him.
Wife says :
'If you behave
like this, you will lose ALL your friends'.
********************************************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, ' send me a brother'
Santa wrote back,
' SEND ME YOUR
MOTHER'
****************************************
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
***********************************
Husband asks:
'Do u know that the meaning of WIFE
is:
W ithout
I nformation
F ighting
E very-time
Wife replies :
' No,......
It means:
W ith
I diot
F or
E ver
!!!'
*****************************************
What's the difference
between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when
both are pregnant.
****************************************
Grammer Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah,
once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver run away
**********************************************************
A young boy asks his
Dad :'What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that IS confidential .'
Read more...
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